Traditional Roman Catholic Thoughts

Traditional Roman Catholic Thoughts

Reintroducing Logic and Reason to the Age of Sentimentalism

A Verbally and Mentally Abusive Father

January 21, 2015 | 52 Comments

Imagine a father who lives in the picturesque suburbs. He has a good job, a loving wife, and several beautiful children of various ages. Many people look up to this man as an exemplary model within the community. Most say he is on his way to sainthood.


As an outsider, this is only a part of the full picture. Now imagine if this same father spends more time playing with the other children in the neighborhood than he does his own children. When his children ask why their father would rather play with the other children and not his own, he in turn starts teasing them, making fun of them, and insisting that they are being whiny brats, instead of getting a loving answer in regards to why he is neglecting their emotional health.

Additionally, his children are victim to several bullies in the neighborhood, tormenters who are relentless and look for any flaw in these children in order to persecute them. The father’s words and actions give these bullies ammunition to use against his children. Then the aggressors pounce upon the children and use the father’s own words against them.

When some of the children get rightfully upset and complain about their father supporting the bullies more than themselves, their siblings yell at them and force their ideas into submission. “You can’t criticize Dad! He’s our father! You have to be obedient and submissive to his will, after all, he knows better than you do.” With this, the family has become more divided than before. Not only is the father allowing the world to abuse his children the same way he does, but some of the children viciously defend his abusive actions.

You are likely in agreement with me that the above father is not a good father at all. While he appears to be a great example to the community, in reality he is a deviant. Yet this is the same attitude in which Pope Francis, the Holy Father, operates his Papacy.


Whether in the Vatican or abroad, there have been numerous times he was scheduled to meet with Bishops or Cardinals only to cancel at the last minute. While it is understandable, as he is in poor health, instead of taking time off to rest, he has spent time with Evangelicals, Lutherans, or even Buddhists, as he did during his trip to Sri Lanka. If spending time with non-Catholics is how he chooses to relax, doesn’t it beg the question: why? His purpose is not to evangelize; at no time does he discuss with them the need to become Catholic, but rather he endorses their views and discusses solidarity.

While he takes his trips abroad, he holds press interviews aboard the papal plane. “Who am I to judge” has become the go to line for non-Catholics to beat the faithful into submission for upholding Catholic teaching. Pope Francis has given the enemies another great line. “Some people think — excuse me for saying this — that to be good Catholics we have to be like rabbits.” Additionally, he even told the world how he reprimanded a faithful mother for getting pregnant again. He accused her of “tempting God” and faulted her for “irresponsible parenting”.

These comments about rabbits and irresponsible parenthood have left some Catholics with the desire to defend the Holy Father’s statements to their dying breath. They accuse Catholics who take issue with the Pope’s choice of words as “taking them out of context”. They admonish their upset brethren for not trusting in God and accuse them of causing division within the Church. “If you just looked at context, you would agree with him!” While in context we agree with Pope Francis, his poor choice of words, especially when being given to newspaper reporters who will actively search for opportunities to take his words out of context and demonize our religion, are what we find fault in. He knew what he was saying, because he prefaced it with “excuse me for saying this”. He gives ammunition to the bullies who in turn use it on his children, who he is supposed to defend and build up into saints.

When a normal father partakes in this destructive behavior against his own children, he is looked upon not as a hero, but a deviant and abusive father. Likewise, if the Holy Father engages in the same acts, he is not being a good father to his children. He engages in the sins of calumny and detraction, and without a public apology for his statements we are left to assume the worst.

52 people are talking about “A Verbally and Mentally Abusive Father

    • I see it as the opposite, it is the father’s children who are the bullies. The “Right” always talk about how the Bible and the Church support the pro-life cause, so the pope reminds them “Many, many people make human sacrifices and there are laws that protect them.” The “Right” always talk about how individual is responsible for giving and not making the government give for them, the pope reminds them that “it is not a news item when an elderly homeless person dies of exposure, but it is news when the stock market loses two points?” We also like to bring up church teachings on marriage to berate the gay and unchaste. We tell those who have grown dependent, they should work harder. We remind those who reject military intervention, how our government protects others from Islamic terror. The pope is simply a reminder that God Loves every one of his children, they are not just other children in the neighborhood, they are God’s Children.

      • Our Pope cannot figure out that a major reason for Catholic education is to protect and promote the gaoth
        If you do not make it put og upur M’s wb alive thrm the faith teachings pmppverty are useless. Francis sad to say promoted people like Vam elst bonney nelgi ,schombrth ,koch and Marx who have brought the Dying Catholic faith their to self destruction. If catering , and emasculating morals of Christian faith to cater to deviant Adulterers and homosexuals worked the Dying liberal Protestants mainline churches would Not be Emptying out at a rapid rate exceeding that of Liberal Catholic churches worldwide

        • If you do not make it out of your mom,s womb alive due to abortion the churches teachings on poverty are meanimgless is the proper term in my previous post.

      • I shall take God’s inspired and infallible Word of Truth over mushy emotionality like, We are all God’s children.

        Please show me where Jesus, Paul, John, or any other NT writer (to say nothing of the OT!) gives you or the Pope grounds to state that. Yes, we are all God’s creatures. But only those who acknowledge Jesus as Lord, Savior, and only-begotten Son of God are sons and daughters of the Father.

        This is the constant teaching of the Church, based on Sacred Scripture and Sacred Tradition–contemporary sentimentality notwithstanding.

    • I Son’t know who wrote this but you are so spot on I had to yell “YES’ When I read it! I am a Byzantine Catholic. I officially changed Rites back in the 80s when the Church was in the most awful turmoil. MY husband and I wrote to Rome and officially became Byzantine so as not to have to deal with the madness any longer. We had nine small children and I was becoming desperate trying to counter all the madness at the time. Our Lady gave me the idea to simply shelter myself under the more ancient rites of the our Mother the Church. The best thing I ever did for myself and my children. The Byzantine’s translated the liturgy from the ancient texts to the vernacular so the prayers of ST. John Chrysostom remain in their Liturgy in tact. The Priests we have encountered over the years teach with every homily! And the sacraments are imposed from tiny babyhood. We are devote Catholics but are balanced and not considered inordinately conservative.

      Whoever wrote this article has my thinking exactly. The Holy Father has no diplomacy and he has lost the confidence of those who would love him most. We are children without a father we can trust.

  1. “His purpose is not to evangelize; at no time does he discuss with them the need to become Catholic, but rather he endorses their views and discusses solidarity.” This is called ecumenism, which was a focus of Vatican II, and even part of the inspiration in calling the council.

    As for his comments that get taken out of context, i think that it is fine for us to have our differing opinions. Some would like the pope to stop since his comments are misunderstood by secular media. Others propose that even if misunderstood, it gets a message out there and sparks debate- people both hear about the Church and have to think about it. We’re free to have our opinions about prudential matters, but comments like “He engages in the sins of calumny and detraction, and without a public apology for his statements we are left to assume the worst.” certainly don’t prevent division, and go a long way to encourage it. If correction is to be done, it ought to be done with charity, as good Bishop Morlino has (somewhat) recently reminded us.

    • Pope Pius IX issued his Syllabus of Errors (1864) in which he condemned the following propositions:


      • “Every man is free to embrace and profess that religion which, guided by the light of reason, he shall have come to consider as true.”

      • “Men can find the way of eternal salvation and reach eternal salvation in any form of religious worship.”

      • “Good hopes, at least, must be entertained of the eternal salvation of all those who in no way belong to the True Church of Christ.”

      • “Protestantism is nothing else than a different form of the same True Christian Religion, and in it one can be as pleasing to God as in the Catholic Church.”

      Careful about the word ‘ecumenism.’

      The Pope certainly should. It would do him well to read a few snippets from his predecessors, rather than make the rules up as he goes along.

      Pope Leo XIII warned in Satis Cognitum (1896):

      “There can be nothing more dangerous than those heretics who admit nearly the whole series of doctrines, and yet BY ONE WORD, as with a drop of poison, taint the real and simple faith taught by Our Lord and handed down by apostolic tradition. From this it is very easy to see that men can fall away from the unity of the Church by schism, as well as by heresy.”

      Sound like anyone we know?

      Thank you, Jeff. The parallel was sublime. It helps explain why I felt like I’d been sucker punched to the gut with the rabbit-breeding line. He did nothing less than put a huge stamp of approval on everything the secular world has ever said (derogatorily, of course) about Catholics.

  2. …And I as a Catholic (like me) are you not supposed to view the Pope as God’s agent on Earth? How thin your Catholic faith has turned out to be. You best pray and reflect on it. I am serious.

  3. This article sounds like it was written by the brother in the parable of prodigal son. Never satisfied by the Father’s love. Only concern by the attention given to his brother the sinner.

    So sad.

  4. I agree with Stacie: “spot on” from beginning to end.

    I too want to cringe in the corner every time Pope Francis utters one of his one-liner sound bites which although people try, can’t be excused.

    He’s famous now for mixing orthodox with heretical statements. “God is not a Catholic God” is but one. Then sends out his army of apologists to quell the confusion he’s sown.

    With great generosity, let us continue to pray for him.

  5. I am not catholic but you people are. So I am not gonna try to teach you what Catholicism is about. You are clearly the better judges of what a good Catholic is. If you guys say that the Pope isn’t one (or at least in occasions didn’t behave like one), then I will take your word for it.

    However, from the outsider’s perspective (the kind of outsider you worry that will use the Pope’s rabbits comment as ammunition), there is nothing wrong with what the Pope said. Actually, he made not only clear that he doesn’t endorse the criticism he was airing, but also that he is willing to entertain it. You may not like the bluntness of it, but the blunter the better. He gives to the secular world that you are so afraid of that finally a reasonable men has become Pope, someone who can look at things from the perspective of others. Someone who can entertain a criticism without believing it. That’s, in our humble secular world, not a sin but a virtue.

    So, if your attitude of “j’accuse!” towards Francis is due to the impression he is making on us non-Catholics, then your worries seem a bit misguided. The impression so far is quite positive, he is making Catholicism more respectable, not less, in a world that’s becoming gradually more weary of organized religion.

    But if your likening of him to an abusive father is due to some Catholic conception of proper behavior, feel free to throw the first stone.

    • He is giving the “secular world” a positive impression because he is confirming the “secular world” in their sins and NOT preaching the full truth of the Holy Catholic Church. He is NOT leading you toward TRUTH but away from it. This is why he is so scandalous and frankly embarrassing. So in your ignorance of course you would enjoy his nonsense. The secular world knows no virtue nor true humility. Only from Jesus Christ through the Holy Catholic Church which he established will you come to know truth, virtue or humility.

    • So do his words and actions cause you to seek conversion? That is the true crux of the issue. You may like and appreciate the pope, but will that cause you to seek the salvation offered through Christ and His church? If that is the case I have no further criticism of what the pope has done and said, and I rejoice for you. However, I doubt that is the case, and that is where my concern lies. It’s not about making the world like us, it’s about spreading the Gospel to bring eternal souls to salvation.

    • Sir, ma’am – thank you for acknowledging you are not Catholic. Francis does not act Catholic either, which explains a lot. Maybe everything.
      Here on Terra Firma the world is cowered into fears of overpopulation, more mammalian inhabitants, eaters and consumers. Not a shock for you for Francis to analogize large faithful Catholic families who do not contracept as ” breeders of rabbits”. I quite think that at this simple , one dimensional , non spiritual level people might be pressed to agree.
      But our God gave us eternal souls, and only He can bring a soul into union at the moment of conception, stated by God to be in HIS Image and Likeness. The point? To populate Heaven for ETERNITY with faithful souls who will share in the Divinity of Christ and the Beatific Vision forever.
      You see, faithful Catholics know that this earthly roller coaster ride is a temporary test of our faithfulness to Him. When a Catholic family eschews mechanical or chemical contraception ( which is doctrine, and violation of which is mortal sin) they do it with full knowledge , consent and faithfulness to The Lord who requested it of them. Why doesn’t Francis know this ( he does) or preach this?
      Because as long as “”Francis” can block out the light of Heaven and keep us looking at the material world as the source and finality of our existence, we will vacillate and look to human “solutions” and accept worldly and sinful means to “correct” them. As long as we are steered away from the Social Teaching of Our King , Jesus Christ, we will beg the evil manipulators to ” save us”, even after watching them cause the crises to begin with.
      We need not do any such thing. God is on His Throne. Follow Him. Follow the ancient teachings of Holy Mother Church, the eternal Magesterium and the Deposit of Faith. Listen to the Truth what your informed conscience is telling you as Catholics.
      Jesus is Lord and King. If “Francis” speaks otherwise, it is to his demise, not ours.
      Promote the consecration of Russia to our Lady of Fatima. Let the reign of the ImmaculTe Heart begin!

  6. This was a good way of showing the impact of Pope Francis’s ill-formed phraseology. It has seemed to me that he has some early childhood issues he needs to have addressed in therapy.

  7. I know a little Italian and watched as he delivered the following line with an angry face
    This line really got to me:
    He accused her of “tempting God” and faulted her for “irresponsible parenting”.
    Tempting God? Who does he think is the Creator?
    Certainly the woman did not create the child she was carrying in the womb.
    Me-thinks it is somebody else that is tempting God with certain words and accusations.
    Speaking of accusations:
    “Who am I to judge”? He is judging all the time, but who he judges are the loyal Catholics

  8. My biggest concern is of the not-so-astute that take even “catholic” reports of the pope-on-a-plane comments as gospel. Sad to say, many and I mean MANY (c)atholics in positions of authority read the Fishwrap article ( The collateral damage/fallout emboldens these naysayers and shoves teetering catholics on the wrong side of moral absolutes. Somewhere a good priest is counseling someone who is on the verge of a vasectomy, tubal ligation or even an abortion (God forbid!). To have the Holy Father speak in nebulous terms on topics of deep moral consequence unnecessarily shakes foundations and scatters the sheep. That’s the boots on the ground reality. Clarity, Just give us clarity!

  9. I couldn’t agree more. Every day I lament the fact that we seem to have traded Benedict the Beloved for Francis the Fool. He’s the Church’s Obama.
    Saint John Eudes said that when God wants to punish his people, he sends them bad priests.
    There’s also a prophecy about the papacy: “In those days Jesus Christ will send them not a true Pastor, but a Destroyer.” Interestingly enough, the above line comes from St. Francis of Assisi!

  10. The Pope is the Vicar of Christ and sits in the Chair of Peter. It’s nice to think of yourself as a brutalized child, but in the Church Militant, you’re a turncoat soldier. If you want to be a St. Theresa or a Francis Xavier, who’s stopping you?

    • I actually don’t think it’s nice to think of myself as a brutalized child. Who enjoys abuse? And how is my disagreeing with the Holy Father in this instance the same as leaving the Church?

  11. She had seven c- sections! You know how dangerous that is. You are overreacting about this whole thing. To compare him to an abusive father is out of line if not scandalous. You can’t just assume such. You still hold to the lie that he thinks it doesn’t matter what religion one practices when he has said four times that you can’t follow Christ outside the Church. You hypocritically accuse him of breaking the eighth commandment when you falsely accuse him of things by taking phrases out of context. You don’t even do your research and forget to mention that “Who am I to judge?” referred to a priest who was in the gay lobby and the Pope said that if the priest followed the Lord (repent) then who is he to judge?

    • Yes, it is not much dangerous than having a natural birth. The risk of death is 13/100,000 or .013%, and you accuse me of not doing research?
      You are taking Pope Francis out of context. He never said the priest had to repent, just “if he had good will and sought the Lord”.
      Finally, he has said you must follow Christ outside the Church four times. He has also condoned other religions as good and authentic multiple times. How do these conflicting statements not make him a manipulative and abusive father?

    • I’ve had 5 successful cesareans and one v-bac… six children altogether over the span of 20 years. My last precious baby safely arrived last week. That rebuke was unwarranted and demoralizing not to mention abusive and hurtful. If it had been anyone else but the pope, it wouldn’t have seemed out of turn had this courageous woman put him in his place. This article is spot on!

    • Matt, You my friend obviously didn’t do any research. All the points you made in your comment reflect the fact that you have absolutely no idea what your talking about.

    • Seriously, you link to a site called “How Stuff Works.” Ay.

      The risk of maternal death with multiple c-sections is low. Probably much lower than for travelling in a car.

  12. My wife had a Father just like you describe. I didn’t think fathers like this existed until I met him. He literally did exactly what you describe here. When it was all done, none of his children wanted anything to do with him. Most had issues due to it, most left their faith. It was a hell for the children to grow up with. Likewise, I see many Catholics suffering and even loosing their faith due to poor leadership in the Church today. One convert I know recently went back to his former religion due mostly to Pope Francis and the effects he has had on the Church.

  13. We are the Church Militant!

    Let us meet with our commanders and discuss strategies to conquer every chance we can! Let us gather more resources to our side by expanding our home bases every way we can! Let us protect our treasures by not passing them out in the streets to be trodden on in the very mud!

    Wait a second…. hmm. Wait a second here….

    (But in serious, very good post Jeff.)

    • You might like to visit
      The Church of Light which Mother Mary spoke about in the book Marian movement of priests is formed. JESUS CHRIST HAS COME AGAIN IN FLESH AND HIS NAME IS EMMANUEL – the second coming. The gospel of salvation ready to be revealed in the last time is being preached (1 Peter 1:5/Rev 14:6/Mtt 24:14)

  14. I truly believe that the Jesuits, empowered by a politically and socially liberal Pope, have become the most dangerous threat to the Catholic Church. Just one example is the pervert tour of James Martin sj and the popular blogger Andrew Sullivan (who has a “husband”). They are appearing together at Fordham Prep (a Catholic high school) in the Bronx to give a joint talk on Pope Francis.

    If you have the misfortune to wade into Martin’s twitter feed (50K+ followers!), you will find many of the postings are all things pro-LGBT. Today, for example, he links to the CNN story about the Pope reaching out to a transgender. If you have a twitter account, please make an effort to respond to these posts. He will block you as he requires the appearance that everyone who responds is friendly to his destructive cause, but it is very easy to set up another account and keep at it. Everyone who follows these people needs to be educated via some sort of counterpoint based on Catholic truth. I also urge people to pray for either the conversion of these heretics or barring that, the removal from their office.

  15. Agree, agree, sir. But why not we sent a letter to the Pope so he will recoqnize his mistake? Rather than we critizing him on his back..

  16. Every spiritual director worth his salt will tell you that you are never required to assume the worst about someone. Rather, as part of your growth in charity and faith, you are enabled to assume the best about him. This extends to people whom you don’t know personally, like the Pope.

    To use the analogy a bit more accurately–and re-read Evangelii Gaudium if you don’t believe me–it would be right to point out that Dad INVITED his children to play with the neighborhood kids, many of whom are truly scruffy. But Dad’s children are scared to play with the neighborhood kids, even with Dad right there. They even seem to be a bit afraid of their Dad. Would you call that a failure in faith and charity, on the part of Dad’s children? I would.

    It’s also unnecessary for us to defend Pope Francis. Rather than focus on the unmitigated “what’s-he-doing-now” fear-based narrative, is it wholly ridiculous for us to say, “Jesus, I trust in You,” knowing that we do trust Him? It’s not our confidence in Pope Francis, but our confidence in Jesus Christ, in God the Father, and in the Holy Spirit that we need to rely on here. Remember that, and be at peace. +

    • If Dad wants to be the teacher his position requires him to be, he must be an effective communicator.

      Constantly saying things that the kids can’t quite figure out is disconcerting (best interpretation), maybe deliberately frustrating (not so good), or calculatedly obfuscating (bad). The children may wonder, Will there be even worse to come?

      In any case, who or what is behind this?

      Figure it out: “God is not the author of confusion.” 1 Cor. 14:33.

  17. Pingback: Un Padre abusivo verbal y mentalmente. – Enraizados en Cristo

  18. Bullying in the Vatican? Fr Ray Blake writes on his blog that he knows many priests working in the Vatican who are leaving for their home dioceses with the intention of never returning. The problem according to him is that Pope Francis – quote – “bullies their bosses and their bosses bully them, so they go.” Father Blake continues: “Even the most thick skinned and dedicated can only put up with a certain degree of insults and contempt. That, and an increasing degree of “South Americanisation” makes the Holy See more and more difficult a working environment.”
    Francis Takes Revenge: The French weekly news magazine Le Point writes that after the Synod of Bishops Catholic prelates are sacked from the Roman Curia one after the other. The magazine calls this – quote – “a true witch hunt” adding: “At the Vatican, revenge is a dish best served hot.” Le Point believes that Cardinal Pell’ is in danger for having spoken out in favour of marriage. Ironically the Pope had encouraged the bishops before the Synod to speak openly. Quote: “Everyone needs to say what one feels duty-bound in the Lord to say: without respect for human considerations, without fear.”

  19. Daniel 5:19 DRBO

    [19] And for the greatness that he gave to him, all peoples, tribes, and languages trembled, and were afraid of him: whom he would, he slew: and whom he would, he destroyed: and whom he would, he set up: and whom he would, he brought down.

    Please notice that Jorge Bergoglio is a Jesuit who taught psychology at the Colegio de la Inmaculada Concepción in Argentina . Since his first interview back to Brazil has applied affirmative therapy for gay and he promoted sodomite priest and punished the friars of the Franciscans of the Immaculate and silenced and removed other priests. Bergoglio is taking revenge against the Catholic faithful because is taking revenge against the Church which he considers the oppressive and the gay the poor (social wounded). This pathological behavior calls to mind the case of pedophile priest Marcial Maciel who psychologically abused his victims, favoring some seminarians and despising others.

    A Buenos Aires journalist describes Bergoglio:
    The Horror!: “A sworn enemy of the Traditional Mass, he has only allowed imitations of it in the hands of declared enemies of the ancient liturgy. He has persecuted every single priest who made an effort to wear a cassock, preach with firmness, or that was simply interested in Summorum Pontificum.”

  20. Pingback: A Verbally and Mentally Abusive Father | Biblical False Prophet

  21. Jesus once said to Mary of the Holy Trinity that, “There are those who do not believe in me, or in My Words, but who treat their neighbor as I have. They are of my family, those who treat their neighbor as I did. Then there are those who believe in Me and all my Words, but who do not treat their neighbor as I did. I allow them to suffer to come out of the narrow confines of their self-centeredness.”

    He also told her that Protestant Doctrine was full of error, but he never told her that Protestants were cut off from salvation or from His Graces because of it. He understands that error regarding doctrine is a very common, human shortcoming.

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