Catholic Church Founded in 1963, Historians Find
Vatican City – Historians uncovered shocking documentation Thursday of the Catholic Church’s founding being in 1963, rather than the year 33 as was once thought and believed.
This comes as wonderful news to some. Father Gregory O’Hannity, Pastor of Our Lady of the Small Pond Out Back said “If you think about it, there isn’t any documentation prior to 1963 which supports this claim. Once the Second Vatican Council was called to order, the Holy Spirit descended upon those holy men present and founded the Church upon their faith.”
Zechariah Smith, a Catholic who attends the neighboring FSSP parish argued, “This is outrageous! Another example of anti-Catholics trying to discredit Christ and His Church”. “The Church was founded by Christ in 33 A.D. upon St. Peter and there exists mountains of documents and doctrinal evidence prior to 1963 to prove it” he stated while holding up his copies of Denzinger and Ott.
Vatican Spokesman Fr. Frederico Lombardi, S.J. stated, “I really don’t know what to believe anymore. Just give us a couple of days and we’ll iron it all out.” He then rushed out of the press conference to the nearest bar. Barfly Tim O’Hannigan stated he was unsure of what Father had ordered but knew it was a double and to keep them coming.
This is satire.