The 5 Love Languages
During my marriage preparation classes, my priest told me and my now wife about the 5 Love Languages. He advised us that we should take the quiz, and that way we can learn more about ourselves, and how to interact with each other. And let me tell you, it has worked wonders for our marriage.
The 5 Love Languages is based on the research of Dr. Gary Chapman. What are the 5 Love Languages you ask? Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Each category describes the way in which we most feel loved.
Words of Affirmation is basically anything that would be a compliment, such as “I Love you”, “You look beautiful”, or “I’m really proud of you!”. Basically saying nice things.
Receiving Gifts can be as simple as a note from you spouse, a surprise candy bar or even just little surprises left around the house.
Acts of Service would be running errands for your spouse, doing chores that your spouse doesn’t like to do or other similar things.
Quality Time obviously would be spending time with the other and physical touch can range all over the place.
Each one of us has a primary and a secondary love language. The primary language is what fills up your “love tank” faster, but the secondary love language will also fill up said “love tank”. Knowing what fills up your love tank will help you feel more loved by your spouse when they do those activities. This also works vice versa, you need to do those things that make your spouse feel loved.
Now, this has helped my wife and I to understand each other, and it’s great how it has helped our marriage. For example, after knowing each other’s love languages, we know that when it comes to arguing what not to do. My wife’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation, so when we argue, I can’t fall into the temptation of calling her names, as that will devastate her. We shouldn’t be calling each other names regardless of our love language, but I am now more aware of it.
As society continually tries to push gay “marriage” and to undermine that of traditional marriage, we need to create strong marriages. I feel that knowing your spouse’s primary and secondary love language will do just that.
When you feel loved, you want to share that love. The powers of love can not be held within our own human person, as we are creatures of finite space and possibility, love, in itself, is infinite. This is the reason why when it comes to creating our priorities, no human person, even if it be our husband or wife or children or anybody, should be our number one.
As humans, we only have a finite space to fill with love, though, we have an infinite ability to give love. When we put all of our love into another person, we will crush them. However, the love for God, that is, the love that God gives to us, we can receive, even though it is infinite, because God created us to be able to receive that love that He gives. God, being infinite, can also receive that infinite love that we can give. Thus, it would make perfect sense to love God before all others.