I’ve been trying to figure out what direction I am being called within many things. There are a lot of things going on within the realm of my Catholic spirituality that I’m trying to figure out. Mostly the things I want to talk about, the talks I’d eventually like to give, potential books I’d like to write, the Young Adult group I’m trying to start, my faith life, my career direction and even my current prayer routine (yes, our careers are part of our faith journey as they are our vocation).
Its kind of frustrating to some point. I’d like to be able to say “yes, I will write Saturday for two hours between the hours of noon and two”, but of course, you can’t always force the keys on the keyboard to input into the text editor to display onto the screen the words that you’d like to say or that the Holy Spirit is guiding you towards, they are either there or they aren’t (although sometimes they can be summoned). So, I’d like to at least keep up putting out a post a week at minimum, but its tough. The frustrating part about it is that a lot of times I’ll have something incredibly awesome I’d like to share, pull up the editor and *poof* its gone. Incredibly frustrating.
So, I think what I need to do, is spend more time pulling out the laptop when I come up with something and just start writing it down. That, or when I do spend the time writing I just write what comes to mind. I want the words to flow forth like that of St. Paul, St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas, but alas, I am not them. I think that is the most difficult thing for me to realize is that I am me and my writing habits are different. They were also much older and all I have heard about are their successes and not their defeats. Who knows how many times St. Augustine put the ink quill to the parchment before coming up with his masterpiece “Confessions”? I suppose it’ll take time, and I believe that my writing is improving as I am discovering myself through this process.
Eventually, I’d like to give talks on my conversion story and other aspects of Catholicism. It is something I am passionate about. I love discussing and teaching the Faith, which is why I began teaching Religious Education two years ago. I am taking the year off as my plate is already full, that with the Young Adult group and other ministries that I am hoping to be a part of. But, I feel that I have the gift of speech, as I have noticed I seem to be able to find common ground with my audience and bring them in when I talk. Or maybe I’m just full of myself, you tell me.
I think the biggest part of my life is getting into a good prayer routine. I discussed this awhile back about figuring out what you want to do with your prayer life, and when you figure that out, to keep a note about it somewhere. This is important, and I’m beginning to question if a month is too long to determine if something is too much or too little. Some weeks, nothing is going on, and it would make more sense to add more, and some weeks there is a lot going on and it’d make more sense to drop a few items. I say this as I have yet to complete an accurate one month portrayal (I’m currently half way through), as I seem to make it about a week, before forgetting about it and getting off track. Trial and error is apart of life as it is a part of our spiritual journey. Remember that.
I’m currently working on a bunch of posts simultaneously. I’m hoping to have another post this week of something with a bit more substance, just because I have such a huge back log of posts that I want to put out, and because I want to be more regular with posting. There are many things going on in my head.
If you could offer up some prayers for me, I’d greatly appreciate it.